So I never miss an opportunity to catch ESPN's 1st Take. Stephen A. Smith alone is the reason why I watch. I'll admit the back and forth banter between he and Skip have slowed, but this leaves more opportunities for Smith to show that "off the chain" personality he has. Anyway, so I'm watching and the Martin VS. Incognito segment is in full swing. Now I don't need to rehash the whole history of this, everybody pretty much knows what happened unless you've been under a rock. I was surprised that this was still a topic of discussion until I really started to listen to the details.
Apparently there have been new text messages that have shed light on Martin and Incognito's relationship. I haven't read the texts, I haven't heard the voicemails, it doesn't get that serious for me. I remember when the story first broke and I remembered thinking to myself as a man (which I am not), how can you allow yourself to be that affected by someone else? Now, I'm not giving Incognito right AT ALL. Some of the allegations that had come out against him were simply startling, however, I look at pro NFLers as people with jobs. Their job is to win games, that's it.
Since the blowing up of this whole Martin/Incognito incident, many players have come out to speak about locker room culture (something I'd never given much thought to). Its trash talking on a whole different level and apparently has become customary within NFL culture. This has become the norm and arguably something Martin had also become accustomed to. So what changed? Many attribute this to Martin's loss of the love of the game, stating that he used this incident to quietly bow out instead of simply saying "football isn't fun anymore". Some say Martin's silence did way more damage to Incognito's career by leaving Incognito out to dry and be eaten up by the vultures better known as the media. Some say Martin's decision to speak out during the week of the Super Bowl was calculated and cowardly. He could have long before revealed the real nature of their relationship but instead decided to say and do nothing.
All of this lively discussion and new findings prompted me to want to find out about Incognito's upbringing. I've seen the obnoxious bar footage of Incognito drinking and spewing the N word. I've heard of prior incidents and his history of anger problems. I wondered what his parents were like? My observation before any research was done was that he was hurt, and hurt people hurt others. Apparently the NY Post had the same idea and wrote a piece shedding light on his dysfunctional household. He grew up an overweight kid to two hard asses for parents. His weight allowed him to move up and play football with older players which was where the teasing started. Incognito was described as soft, often seen on the sidelines crying and being enabled by his mother. His parents were described as being psychotic by past coaches and could be often seen arguing with referees. The article also mentioned welps on his body but did not indicate whether this abuse was coming from home or his teammates.
Finally, Incognito beat a kid up and had been on a role ever since. He probably felt in control for the first time in his life which served as a turning point that has spilled over into his adult life. I'll call it misguided power. Some say Incognito was the real victim in this whole mess. I wouldn't say I would go that far, but the human behavior social environment junkie inside of me wanted to dig deeper because I knew there was a pathology and history behind this type of behavior. This type of behavior has never exhibited some macho type of personality trait to me. Instead its fear and pain driven. If there's one thing I could say to Incognito it would be: Calm down, we can all see your scars.
The Sexy Nerd
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