Why Are We Still Discussing Richie Incognito?

So I never miss an opportunity to catch ESPN's 1st Take. Stephen A. Smith alone is the reason why I watch. I'll admit the back and forth banter between he and Skip have slowed, but this leaves more opportunities for Smith to show that "off the chain" personality he has. Anyway, so I'm watching and the Martin VS. Incognito segment is in full swing. Now I don't need to rehash the whole history of this, everybody pretty much knows what happened unless you've been under a rock. I was surprised that this was still a topic of discussion until I really started to listen to the details.

Apparently there have been new text messages that have shed light on Martin and Incognito's relationship. I haven't read the texts, I haven't heard the voicemails, it doesn't get that serious for me. I remember when the story first broke and I remembered thinking to myself as a man (which I am not), how can you allow yourself to be that affected by someone else? Now, I'm not giving Incognito right AT ALL. Some of the allegations that had come out against him were simply startling, however, I look at pro NFLers as people with jobs. Their job is to win games, that's it.

Since the blowing up of this whole Martin/Incognito incident, many players have come out to speak about locker room culture (something I'd never given much thought to). Its trash talking on a whole different level and apparently has become customary within NFL culture. This has become the norm and arguably something Martin had also become accustomed to. So what changed? Many attribute this to Martin's loss of the love of the game, stating that he used this incident to quietly bow out instead of simply saying "football isn't fun anymore". Some say Martin's silence did way more damage to Incognito's career by leaving Incognito out to dry and be eaten up by the vultures better known as the media. Some say Martin's decision to speak out during the week of the Super Bowl was calculated and cowardly. He could have long before revealed the real nature of their relationship but instead decided to say and do nothing.

All of this lively discussion and new findings prompted me to want to find out about Incognito's upbringing. I've seen the obnoxious bar footage of Incognito drinking and spewing the N word. I've heard of prior incidents and his history of anger problems. I wondered what his parents were like? My observation before any research was done was that he was hurt, and hurt people hurt others. Apparently the NY Post had the same idea and wrote a piece shedding light on his dysfunctional household. He grew up an overweight kid to two hard asses for parents. His weight allowed him to move up and play football with older players which was where the teasing started. Incognito was described as soft, often seen on the sidelines crying and being enabled by his mother. His parents were described as being  psychotic by past coaches and could be often seen arguing with referees. The article also mentioned welps on his body but did not indicate whether this abuse was coming from home or his teammates.

Finally, Incognito beat a kid up and had been on a role ever since. He probably felt in control for the first time in his life which served as a turning point that has spilled over into his adult life. I'll call it misguided power. Some say Incognito was the real victim in this whole mess. I wouldn't say I would go that far, but the human behavior social environment junkie inside of me wanted to dig deeper because I knew there was a pathology and history behind this type of behavior. This type of behavior has never exhibited some macho type of personality trait to me. Instead its fear and pain driven. If there's one thing I could say to Incognito it would be: Calm down, we can all see your scars.

The Sexy Nerd

Jobs, What Jobs?

Ever been unemployed in Louisiana? Scary place to be, and I'm in that exact place right now. Am I scared? No. There isn't much I fear, however, I'll give your a scary tidbit. I was watching the news the other night and apparently Louisiana is 49th in rank for states with upward mobility. 49th? I knew we were pretty bad, but how can a state be bad at everything? And then I realized, its all connected. No upward mobility, recent college grads are leaving to find work and actually get paid their worth, and supposedly...there are jobs? 

This doesn't even fit into the grand scheme of outgoing statistical data relative to this state, but elected officials insists (almost every year) "we've created jobs", "we're working towards a better economy", "the job market in Louisiana is unfolding into a mecca of opportunity!". Okay, maybe they haven't said the last one but they might as well have. Lies would be a harsh way of describing these allegations, however, I've been in the eye of the storm and I haven't witnessed any job markets opening nor a better economy. I'm certain there are more people sitting on my side of the spectrum and the other side simply doesn't exist. Not for us hardworking-barely making middle class-tax payers. 

Here's what I have witnessed. I've witnessed that Louisiana is the home of cheap underpaid labor. They'll rather hire someone not qualified at all for a job and lacking decision making capabilities rather than hire someone who is. I'm not talking about skilled jobs that require specialized degrees or those types of professionals. I'm talking about something as simple as a file clerk. The scarcity in the job market is proven by some companies receiving over 500 applicants for one position that doesn't even require a college degree. And if you're lucky to get that job, its almost guaranteed that you'll be underpaid by comparing the salaries and earnings of that same job in different states. I find in Louisiana  (most of the time), if a job has to pay you what you're worth, they won't hire you at all. If the company is gracious, they'll tell you to your face that you're over qualified and still won't hire you. 

Then there are the large corporations who think they're so smart. They only hire part time employees to avoid paying insurance benefits and when I mean part time, I mean right at 39 hours. What cheapskates right? You can't even really get Louisiana Medicaid unless you're pregnant, they don't care that you don't have benefits on your job. If you make too much money per hour, but don't really clear the actual hours, it doesn't matter. 

I can say that we can prove our case through relocation. We can stand in solidarity and say "I won't take anymore jobs that don't treat me with the dignity and respect I deserve with the paycheck to reflect that". We can do all of those wonderful things, but the harsh truth remains that I think nothing will happen. Nothing will happen until we start voting some altruistic people in office who have interests for the greater good. The Louisiana system has been designed to keep people exactly where they are. Complacent and content. 

Oh, I almost forgot...the tourism industry. That's where all these jobs are right? Where minimum wage starts at $ 3.15 for servers, bartenders, and waitresses. That's so appealing! Let me bust my ass all day dealing with spoiled, obnoxious tourists! That's my life's' dream. Big ups to the people in the service industry who deal with idiots on the daily. Big ups to all of the people who've actually found decent "careers" in this state. 

As for me? I'm definitely moving in a few years. I can't see myself raising children in a place where they have no future. Sad but true. 

The Sexy Nerd

What Makes Me A Sexy Nerd

Ever been told you were too hot too be so weird? Me either, but I thought it would be a good lead in. Let's start from the beginning. I was the kid that hardly ever went outside to play with the other kids on the street, I read the dictionary for fun, and was often made fun of for speaking proper English, being too tall, wearing red plastic framed glasses, etc. Just fill in the blank. I was the kid that assigned myself summer reading when there was none, and was very familiar with the local book mobile schedule. I often pondered things that no one really cared to find the answers to. The question of, "What makes a sunset?" struck my curiosity so hard I once did a science project based around finding the answer. 

Sure the term "Sexy Nerd" is "oxymoronic" in nature, but as people have progressed and diversified so have nerds. I'm not sure if its through some crazy Darwinistic gender twisting, selective breeding, or what but there are people who exist that are hot and very very smart. I know, I happen to be one of them. So back to my story. I started out as a complete nerd. I thought school was fun and all that good stuff. And then something happened...I went through puberty. Puberty was good to me. I traded my flat ass for a cute tush, and my hips slightly widened as my waist slimmed. By that time, I had grown into my looks and my eyes,  nose, and mouth formed a striking arrangement on my face. By the age of twelve I started to explore modeling.

I slightly slacked on the studies for a newly found social life.  By the time I got to high school I took up a few honors classes, still continued my self assigned summer reading, and had risen in the ranks of popular/bitchy girls. I had taken up track and was pretty good at it, I was nominated on to Homecoming Court, I even explored pageantry and before I knew it my smarts became my own personal secret. No one knew I was smart. No one knew that I graduated high school with an "A" average after vowing not to crack another book for study purposes. No one knew that I was accepted to one of the most prominent private universities in New Orleans, UNTIL...my guidance counselor posted it up on display for the world to see. And then...The Great Shock.

I was questioned by my peers. How did you get into "that" university? The comments made were absolutely ridiculous ranging from "I had no idea you were smart enough to get in" to other similarly ridiculous and asinine comments (seemingly only made by my white peers). My emotions ranged from anger to more anger. How dare they question my intellectual aptitude. I was the girl who read "Twelve Years A Slave" at the age of eleven (long before it became popularized by the movie), I was the girl who attended my sister's African Studies classes and became obsessed with Zora Neale Hurston. I was the girl who could breakdown any Shakespearean play into iambic pentameter. How dare they, right?

I got over it, attended college, and graduated a year early. I had a job waiting on me in my field once I graduated

and it was virtual. The dating game picked up and so did the modeling, and the more encounters I had with the opposite sex, the more shocked reactions I received from men. They all had no idea I was actually smart. It was as if I was supposed to be an airhead by default because no one was that fortunate (to have looks and brains). I became revered like some sort of heroine. I became selective of who I revealed myself to. I learned how to present a superficial front to blend in with the masses. AND THEN just recently, while texting a friend (who's a guy) it happened...the last straw. He playfully called me a geek. Which is fine, but I prefer to be a nerd. It was then that I realized I could not help nor hide how I have been and will be perceived, but what I can do is embrace my truth.

This blog is dedicated to all of the sexy nerds around the world. The beautiful people who do not dumb themselves down to fit in. To those who view possessing intellect as a secret society belonging to only those who get our nerdy jokes and watch nerdy TV shows. Intellect is sexy people! Keep calm and nerd on.


The Sexy Nerd

Photo Compliments of Sterling Photography